Live Blissed Out
Live Blissed Out
161 - From Icky to Sticky: Overcome Networking Anxiety
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From Chief Customer Officer to Connection Coach, Rachel Rozen transforms professional networking from "icky" to "sticky." She's on a mission to help professionals build authentic connections, drawing from her journey of connecting with 300 people in a year. Her coaching strategies empower professionals to turn networking challenges into lasting relationships. When not coaching, she's cheering for the NY Mets and Syracuse Orange, reading, and experimenting in the kitchen.
To learn more, visit www.connectioncatalyst.me
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-rozen/
Website: https://www.connectioncatalyst.me/
Free Networking Webinar: https://www.connectioncatalyst.me/freewebinar
NYC Executive Dinners: https://www.connectioncatalyst.me/dinners
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Did You Know 0:00
Did you know that 85% of jobs are filled through networking, yet most professionals spend less than 10% of their time actively nurturing their network.
Intro 0:10
Hello, action taker. Welcome to Live Blissed out, a podcast where I have inspirational and informational conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help you get the scoop on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture. Want to be in the know, then this is the place to go. I'm your host, Marisa Huston, helping you achieve bliss through awareness and action. So let's get to it, from Chief Customer Officer to connection coach, Rachel Rosen transforms professional networking from icky to sticky. She's on a mission to help professionals build authentic connections, drawing from her journey of connecting with 300 people in a year, her coaching strategies Empower professionals to turn networking challenges into lasting relationships. When not coaching, she's cheering for the New York Mets in Syracuse orange reading and experimenting in the kitchen to learn more. Visit connection, catalyst.me.
Disclaimer 1:18
The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast are for general information only, and any reliance on the information provided in this podcast is done at your own risk. This podcast should not be considered professional advice.
Marisa Huston 1:31
Rachel, welcome to the podcast. I'm excited to talk to you today.
Rachel Rozen 1:35
Thank you so much for having Marisa. I really appreciate it.
Marisa Huston 1:38
Yeah, me too. I'm excited because this topic, I think, is something a lot of people are going to resonate going to resonate with. It's very important for us as business people to understand relationships and to understand how to work with people, and networking is what we're going to be talking about today. And yet, as critical as it may be, a lot of people misunderstand how to utilize it. What are the things that they need to do to make the most out of it? So thank you for being here, and I'm really looking forward to all the tips you're going to be sharing with us about what we need to consider to effectively network.
Rachel Rozen 2:12
Yeah, absolutely. There's so many directions that we can go, but it's interesting because most people are just told to network, but they're not told how to do it, and that's really what I work with people on, is to make it become something that's more tactical and practical and something that they can turn into a habit, so we don't have to feel any anxiety towards networking or feel like it's a transaction. We're building those relationships. We're making them sticky because we're just doing it naturally. The same way you wake up in the morning and brush your teeth. You don't think about it, you just wake up in the morning and brush your teeth. Networking should be as natural as that.
Marisa Huston 2:47
Yeah. And I think it's important that we define networking, because I think that most people assume that it's about some sort of social gathering where everybody gets together for wine and cheese, and you hand your business card, and you ask people what they do, and you collect business cards and then you just have a few drinks and laugh and then walk away. And that was networking. So maybe we start there. What exactly is networking? And based on that definition, how do we make the most of it so that it meets our expectations?
Rachel Rozen 3:15
Yeah, absolutely. So networking can be defined in a few different ways, but the way that I find that it's easiest for people to conceptualize is that it is a precursor to business development. They're not one and of the same networking is the opportunity for you to build relationships with people, for them to get to know you, and for you to get to know them, and that can then lead to business development. But it's really about who are the people that are in your circle, that you're building that community for yourself, and then who are those people able to then introduce you to? And all of that is through the process of networking, you're building those people in your orbit.
Marisa Huston 3:53
Yeah, that's a good point. I think we talked about this prior. Oftentimes we think that the people that we're closest to are the people we always need to network with. But I personally have found that the most effective people that have referred me time and time again are not the ones that I'm closest to. For example, with this podcast, I get a lot of referrals from people that have never physically met me, but through the podcast and just through conversation, they like what they heard, or they appreciated the connection, and then when an opportunity arises, they remember me, and then I get referrals that way. And I find that kind of surprising, because you would think that the opposite would be true.
Rachel Rozen 4:34
Well, it's often through your secondary connections where the most referrals come through are opportunities to find work for those that are job searching, because the people that are closest to you, also keep in mind, are the ones that are talking about you the most, but they already know you really well. But the people that they're then talking to, they're making those introductions for you, and then those people keep making introductions. So the ones that are closest to you are still very much important within your network. Because they're still talking about you, but it's the people that's that ripple effect that continues to come back towards you, and the more people that know what you do, the more likely you're going to find those opportunities out there to meet more people, to have them help you in any way that you might be looking for and also how you might be able to help them, because networking is a two way street. It's not a one way street. It's about that give and get. What can I give someone? What can I get something back? It doesn't mean it has to happen in that moment. It's going both ways, but you can always return that favor later on and or just have it on the back of your mind. You know, Marisa, maybe we just talked about Fourth of July. And, you know, we could have gone deeper into the Fourth of July and talking about barbecuing, or what do you like to barbecue? There's a lot of different directions we could potentially go in, and that could boomerang back at another point in time too.
Marisa Huston 5:54
Yeah, that's such a good point. And I think we overthink things. So for example, when you say give and take, so many people I talk to say I don't know what to give. They gave me a referral, but I'm not really sure how to give them a referral back, because I don't necessarily know somebody directly that needs their services. But giving and taking can take many forms. So for example, just the simple introduction to somebody that might lead to something else, even if that individual never buys from them, but knows somebody. It's those connections. And to your point, having that reach, the more people you meet, the more people you know, the better chance you'll have to land somebody that needs you. And so it's really about thinking outside the box when it comes to giving, and not necessarily being concerned that if they give you business, that you have to do the exact same thing.
Rachel Rozen 6:41
It doesn't have to always be something large, like you said. It can be something very simple. So I have a framework for this, which I call the three I's. And the first i is an introduction. Can I introduce somebody to somebody else, or can they introduce me to somebody else? The second I is information. Can I give them information? Or can I get information from them? And that information could be an article, a resource, a podcast. Sometimes it's something tangible as well. And then the third i is an invitation. Can I invite them somewhere? Or can they invite me somewhere that maybe I didn't even know existed? And that could be a physical place. It could be a virtual space, like maybe going to a webinar, maybe it's a community, but there's lots of different ways that you can help someone else out. But the one thing that I always like to ask people, and what I coach my clients on as well, is end any conversation with how can I best support you? Because if you don't know how you can help someone, it's hard to do that number one and two, people don't often think about themselves, because more often than not, people are givers, not takers. There are takers in the world. There are givers in the world. It kind of goes back to the book that Adam Grant wrote, called Give and take. But people love giving. They often don't like receiving, or they don't know what they want to receive. And so for those people, or just in general, have an ask in mind, what is something that somebody could help you with? And it could be something small. It could be, you know, I'm going on vacation, and I need to find a dog walker, or I need to find a kennel for my dog, or I am going to Italy. Have you ever been before? What recommendations do you have? There could be so many things that happen. It doesn't always have to be work related as well. There could be something personal, that could be a connection that can easily help somebody as well. And it doesn't matter your age or your experience, you might know somebody that can help them out. And that's where those secondary connections and those introductions come as well.
Marisa Huston 8:41
Wow, that's really important, because I think we sometimes separate personal and professional so much, but sometimes they overlap, and it's just a matter of being in touch, being thoughtful, caring and considerate to other people in general, will build those relationships, build the trust, which eventually leads to good things, no matter how you look at it. And I think that one of the challenges that we have then, that I notice as well, is that we don't know who should be in our network. Is there something we should be looking at specifically to say, Who do I want in that circle? And are there also tips maybe that you can share in terms of like, what does that look like in terms of quantity? Am I supposed to be reaching out to like 50 people a week, or is there a core inner circle? And what does that look like for people? Because I think that's a confusing part of networking that people mostly don't understand or know how to take advantage of.
Rachel Rozen 9:32
Yeah. So there's actually a science behind this. There's people that study network science, and in the studies that are talked about, the people closest to the most that you can have is 15 people. And if you think about those 15 people coming on to your mini bus, and you're driving that mini bus, who are the 15 people in those passenger seats? You want it to be comfortable. You don't want it to be a clown car. You don't want people coming out of every end, because it. Can't generally keep up with more than 15 people on a regular recurring basis, but you want to have ripples, and you want to have more people in your orbit. So generally, the max amount of people that you can be consistently speaking with, and that's maybe quarterly once a year, is around 250 people. Now I say that, but it doesn't mean that the people that on your minibus are always going to stay on your minibus, or the people on that 250 are always going to be the same. 250 people are going to hop in and out of that minibus. People are going to hop in and out of that 250 you might know 10,000 people, but are you truly going to be connected to 10,000 people? One of my favorite quotes is from psychologist Esther Perel, and she talks about this in a way which is quite interesting, is there's so many people today are looking to have hundreds of 1000s of followers, but those people, if they were to go on vacation, can't even find one person to feed their cat, because they're not truly Making those connections with people. They're just having people follow them or influencing them, and that's not really networking. Yeah, you have people around you, but that's more superficial. So how can you build those relationships? And you know, numbers, to an extent, can be arbitrary. Maybe it's 10 versus 15, maybe it's five versus 10, that's okay, but you want to keep it around about that number, and when you think about it from a strategic perspective, it really depends upon what your goals are right now, and your goals can change. And the people that are in your orbit today may not be the same as it was 10 years ago, and 10 years from now, it may not be the same either, because you're evolving, and so are they. You might move. They might move. You might change jobs. They might change jobs. It doesn't mean that you're no longer a part of their network. They're just not someone that you're having regular conversations with right now, and that's totally okay,
Marisa Huston 11:52
Yeah, and I am in total agreement with you, and I've always felt that way, that for me, it's about quality, not quantity. I've never focused on how many clients I have or how many friends I have. It's the ones that I have are very close, and I always make sure I feel comfortable, that I'm showing them appreciation, that I'm touching base regularly, that they feel special in some way, and they know that I really value having them in my life. Because to your point, you know, you have all these people, yeah, it looks great on paper, like you go to somebody's social media account and they have 1000s of followers, but you don't know any of them, and you can't reach out to any of them for any advice or anybody that you really want to be able to talk to. And so for me, it's that quality, right? It's the value that you get from the relationship, rather than the quantity that's out there. So that you can brag and say, I've got millions of people.
Rachel Rozen 12:47
Yeah, absolutely. And to that point too, the people that you might have met 10 years ago might have been people that you were living in a different city, and now you've moved since then, so you might not be talking to them as much. It doesn't mean you're not close with them. It just means that maybe they're not the ones that you're closest to right now. And the more youth work on staying connected to people, the more likely they're going to be there to support you, and you're going to be there to support them. And it's okay if people come in and out like we do, lose touch with people, but it doesn't hurt to just reconnect with someone. So think about if someone comes to mind, sending them that text message right away, or picking up the phone and calling them. I'm not a big phone person, but I will send a text message and just say, you know, hey, Marisa, was just thinking about you. How are things going? It's amazing how those conversations really start to thrive when you pick things back up again, because I guarantee they've probably thought about you once or twice too. They just never took that initiative. So don't be afraid to do that and just pick up the phone or send a message.
Marisa Huston 13:53
Yeah, it's funny you say that, because I'm the same way. I love text primarily because every time I attempt to call somebody, I get voicemail. And so I get to the point where everybody's busy and, you know, voice messages or phone calls are difficult because people are in the middle of a meeting, or they're at a luncheon, or it's just never the right time. And so a text gets to them, and they'll check it when it's right, and then they always reply. And so I just think it's just such an effective way to reach somebody. And you know, they'll let you know if they want to talk to you, because really close friends will end up picking up the phone and trying to call you anyway, and then you can answer. We put that barrier and say, well, I'm not going to reach out, because every time I try calling, I can't reach them. Well then just text, because it's not about talking to them necessarily in person that can come later, but it's letting them know that you're thinking about them.
Rachel Rozen 14:41
Yeah, absolutely. And, and who doesn't want a message that says, hey, Marisa was thinking about you. I'd love to connect like that. Just feels good. And people love to hear that because you're top of mind for them. That doesn't happen that often. You're not getting those messages all the time from people, and so whenever you get them, it excites. The other person and they want to have conversation with you again. It may not be to your point in that very second that you sent the message, but more often than not, they're going to shoot a message back pretty quickly.
Marisa Huston 15:11
Yeah, you know, it's just about making somebody feel special, you know, like when you go to your mailbox and then you dread it, because when you open it up, you know, it's gonna be nothing but junk mail. And then all of a sudden there's this one card from a friend that just says something so nice, like, just because, or just wanted you to know, I'm thinking about your whatever, and it's like, you hold on to that card like it's gold, because you're like, that person went and bought a card and wrote something and mailed it to me and went through all that trouble. You just feel so good.
Rachel Rozen 15:44
Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because I have a box that I keep cards in, that I just save all notes that I get. And one of the things that I do in New York City is I facilitate small group dinners twice a month for executives and entrepreneurs. And I started doing this two years ago, and I was on 41 dinners, and one of the things that I do in that dinner is I give everyone a blank note card with a envelope that's already has a postage on it. They self address the envelope, and then I give everybody somebody else's name and address. And so at the end of the dinner, at some point in the next couple days, they send whoever they got name and address, they send them a note in the mail, because we don't get those notes very often, and we make those connections, but it often doesn't feel like you can continue that conversation when it's just over email, and email can still feel very ingenuous in some ways. Some people don't send them out, and most people do, but when people get that note card, I always get messages back about how grateful they were that they got that note card from somebody else. As tedious as it may seem in the moment, things like getting a physical card really does make a difference in someone's day.
Marisa Huston 16:56
It sure does. And you know, it's just remembering that it's not about you, it's about the other person, and how would it be possible for anyone to receive a nice, heartfelt card and not be happy in some way? Right? Because it's different, and it just reminds you that you're special enough for somebody to take the time to do that. It's a simple gesture, but it means so much.
Rachel Rozen 17:17
Yeah, absolutely, most people here have heard of the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but I really try to live and teach this to others, the platinum rule, treat others how they want to be treated. And when we think about that, when it comes to networking, what is something that we learn about that person that we can lean into? So I'll just give you an example, but I hate coffee like despise coffee. I never drink coffee. The number one gift I get from people all the time is Starbucks gift cards and coffee mugs. The coffee mugs go straight to the trash because I don't need them. Every once in a while I'll drink tea, but I don't need that many coffee mugs in my life. And the Starbuck gift card. Sometimes I'll get something at Starbucks every once in a while, and I will drink like a chai here and there, or I will re gift it to somebody else, but it's because people like coffee. They just assume that you do, but they're never really thinking about what are the things that I like. And I was just at an event, and the person that sponsored it knows that I don't like coffee. And what was in the gift bag a coffee flavored candy bar. I said, Are you kidding me? Like this is the last thing I'm going to eat that also went in the trash. You know, I'll give things away when I can, but that was not going to anybody. But when we think about, how can we learn about somebody, what are the things that they like? What can we glean from them that we can then lean into in the future. So if you know that somebody really likes Skittles, then why not send them Skittles? Or if they really love a specific sports team, you may not even like that sport, it's okay you lean into that, because that's how people start to feel cared for, because you're starting to understand about them, it's not about you, and you start to build that relationship more specifically, and people really appreciate the care and attention that you bring to that relationship.
Marisa Huston 19:10
Well, you know, it's really the difference between you need to get a last minute gift, you go to a store and you just grab the first thing that you see, that you think most people like and give it, versus taking the time to find something unique or personalized, where the person receiving it knows that it wasn't a last minute decision, it was something thoughtful. So it really has to be about them. And one of the things I think we overlook a lot, for example, is how much people love their pets. And so if you know that this person loves their dog or their cat or their bird or whatever pet they have, and you give something along those lines, it's a win, a total win. They just love it. And so it says so many things, because you're basically saying, I know you have a pet, I know you love your pet, and I'm giving them something and their pet being happy, brings them joy. It's that kind of thoughtfulness that needs to go in to make it effective.
Rachel Rozen 20:04
Yeah, absolutely. And most people say, Well, how do I know about that? Well, ask people have that as part of your conversation. I have another framework that I often share with with others, that I call the three Ps, or what can you talk about in a conversation that you can glean some of this information. So the first P is passion. What's something that people are passionate about? What can they talk about for hours? Another P is personal. What's something that is personal about them, whether that be their goals, their family, their pets. And the third P is problem, and that is, what is the problem or challenge that they're trying to solve? Especially for business people, whether you are looking to work at a company or you are are an entrepreneur and of yourself, if you can help someone solve a problem, they're never, ever going to forget you, and they're going to be the ones that are going to help you to find that next client. If it's not them that would hire you, they might know somebody that will because they're not going to forget that you help them.
Marisa Huston 21:03
Absolutely true. We love to give. We forget to ask. I think there's this authenticity when we ask, because, it creates vulnerability, in a sense, right? Because it's not like, oh, I have all the answers. I struggle too, and I'd like to help you in the best way I know how, but I'd really appreciate it if you could, you know, maybe give me some direction as well in areas that I'm not so comfortable with. I think it just creates more of that trust and connection when you take that extra step to ask and not just give.
Rachel Rozen 21:34
Yeah, absolutely. I was asked to speak at a virtual event a few weeks ago, and they do networking at the beginning of the virtual event, and they put people in the big breakout rooms, and they asked me, What's something that they could talk about? And that's what I said specifically, was I want everybody to have an ask within their breakout room that they can bring and see if anybody can help them with their ask. And you don't always get information right away, but someone that was there, had reached back out to me afterwards, and they said after the ask, the Ask got posted on LinkedIn by the facilitator, and multiple people reached out to them to help them with their ask after the fact, and some of it is just putting it out there into the world. Do people even know what it is that you need? If we're keeping it so insular and we're only talking to one or two people, can make it very difficult to find those answers or solutions. The more people know, the more likely they're going to help you.
Marisa Huston 22:27
That is so true, and I think we tend to overlook that at times. It's good to be reminded of that. The other thing that I think we should talk about, because I know it's probably on people's minds, our listeners are probably asking, How do I know who to have in my network, since we're talking about, let's say having a certain number of people in the bus, and we're looking at, let's say 10 to 15 people, whatever that number is, how do I know that I have the right people in the bus?
Rachel Rozen 22:53
I don't think that there's a hard and fast rule around it, but there's a few things to think about when it comes to who are those closest to you. What is the diversity of that group? And that's from a demographics perspective. Where do they live? What are their ages, what are their genders, what are their backgrounds or ethnicities? Does everybody look the same, or do they look different? Because if everyone's the same, we're not learning anything new. We're just recycling ideas amongst that same group of people. Another factor is, does everybody within that 15 people know everybody, or do their clusters of people that know each other? If everybody knows each other same problem, you have a closed network and everybody is recycling those same ideas. But if you have clusters of people that know each other and maybe a few one off that don't know anybody, then you have a more open network. So those are two key things. And another piece is, what does the support look like within that network? Are those people there as friends? Are they there as mentors, sponsors, teachers? Is it a variety, or is it all fitting in one bucket? And the more variety you have, those are the right people to have around you. But again, if everybody is looking the same, then we need to fix something.
Marisa Huston 24:07
That's a really good point, because I think we tend to lean towards friends, and oftentimes the people we know know each other, because they're all friends. And while that may be helpful and fun, it may not necessarily be the best for your network. And so spreading out, trying to get different people, different viewpoints, different talents in there, I think, is a lot more effective.
Rachel Rozen 24:31
Yeah, absolutely. And it's okay, like, you can have someone in your network that's just your friend, like there may not be anything else besides for them being your friend. That's totally okay, but if everybody looks and acts the same, that's where the problem comes in, where we need to refresh who those people are, because we're not learning anything new. Everything is the same. It's like the wet blanket effect, right? Like there's no nuance to it. It's all exactly as is, and we want people with different. Perspectives or that do different things and look different than us because they're bringing in different points of view. And you can introduce those people to each other, but if everybody acts and thinks like everybody else, we're not benefiting ourselves in any way.
Marisa Huston 25:16
That's how you learn and grow. Is through different perspectives. You know, part of the problem that I think a lot of people have with networking is they don't do it consistently, and yet they expect results, or they'll probably go to one event every quarter, and then when they don't see anything happen from that, they say, networking doesn't work. I believe there is a certain level of commitment that we have to put into it like anything in life. You know, you wake up in the morning, you brush your teeth. There's certain things you do all the time, and you have to apply them in order to start getting to where you want to go. And I think we overlook that when it comes to networking, is there a sweet spot? Or how would you make recommendations to our listeners to encourage them to incorporate this into their lives as part of their habit, like a habitual thing that they do ongoing, so that they can maximize the networking that they do personally and professionally.
Rachel Rozen 26:13
Yeah, I think there's a few ways to look at this as this is one of the things that I work on, specifically with clients, on a case by case basis, because networking is not a one size fits all. Everybody can do it slightly different based upon what works best for them, their lifestyle, their day to day. And I'm just gonna break it down a little bit of what are some things that could work for you. So when we think about networking, people often think it's, I have to go to a networking event. Well, that's not 100% true. You could have one on one conversations. You could go to small groups, which I tend to say is, you know, eight to 10, sometimes six to 10, maybe 15 people. You could go to a larger conference or an event. All of these things can be done virtually or in person. Now the mix of what that looks like is dependent upon the individual. Some people might hate conferences, and they're like, oh my god, this is the worst thing in the whole wide world. Why do I have to do this? Doesn't mean you only go to conferences. You do that every once in a while. Maybe you love having one on one conversation, so you fill up more of your time with those one on one conversations versus going to a conference. And I like to say, whatever you're doing right now. That's your ground zero. We start with that, and then we see where do we go from here? And we try out different things. How many one on ones are we going to have in a week? How many events might be going to in a week or in a month or in a quarter? And we keep increasing until you feel like you're at a level that makes sense for you when it comes to the activities that you're doing now, on the other hand, keeping in mind that every conversation that we have with anyone is a networking opportunity. That could be the person you're talking to in the grocery store, your neighbor you're sitting next to another parent at a volleyball game, those are all networking opportunities. It doesn't always have to be that you physically have to go to an event that's labeled networking in order to network. It's literally happening in your day, every day, all the time.
Marisa Huston 28:09
That's a really good point. I don't think we think about it that way, because let's say you're with other parents at an event. Let's say you're watching your kids play soccer. Sometimes the conversation may lead to, what do you do? And then you end up sharing that with them, and they're like, oh my goodness, I happen to be looking for this, or I know a friend who mentioned this the other day, or whatever, and it could eventually lead to something, but other times, we tend to avoid it because we don't want to sound salesy and talk about business in an environment where we're supposed to be hanging out with other parents and talking about our kids and stuff. And I think there's that balance. And people feel awkward, I guess, because they don't really know at what point is it okay to have that conversation? Because if I never have the conversation, they're never going to know what I do. And then how can that lead to networking?
Rachel Rozen 28:52
Yeah, and networking, again, is not something that is just professional. It's the relationships that we're building with people all the time, and the conversations can go in a professional setting to a personal setting, from a personal setting to a professional setting, but the person that's sitting next to you at that soccer game could be your next client. They might know your next client. They may become your next business partner. You have no idea unless you start having a conversation with them. And it doesn't hurt to have that conversation, see where it goes. Networking is not about selling to someone. It's just about building that relationship with them and starting that conversation.
Marisa Huston 29:29
And thank you for mentioning that at the end of this podcast, because if there's anything we have to remember, it's really important to understand that the last thing you want to do in any networking situation is to essentially try to coerce somebody to buying whatever it is you're selling. Because I find that to be one of the things that I have experienced other people mention when I make an introduction, like, let's say, I say, Hey, Rachel, I'm going to introduce you to Joe over here. And then you have a conversation, and then the next thing you know, I get a message saying. All Joe did was try to sell something to me, and never once asked what I did or was not interested in learning about me. And yeah, I think that's just so detrimental, because you will never have a genuine relationship with that person everagain, if that's how you approach it. And so now I've learned that when I do these, especially online introductions, I literally have a few keynotes at the very bottom that shares tips, essentially on how they can maximize the conversation and to not sell and to focus on genuine connection, rather than trying to think that this is an opportunity for you to just close a deal.
Rachel Rozen 30:36
Yeah. The other thing that I always really live by and coach my clients on is, when you're making introductions to someone, you always want there to be a double opt in. And a double opt in is, I'm going to introduce you, Marisa, to Joe. I'm going to go to Joe and I'm going to say, Hey Joe, I really want you to meet Marisa. This is why would you be open to that introduction? Joe says, yes. I go back to you and I say, hey, Marisa, I really want you to meet Joe. This is why are you open to the introduction? You say, Yes, I make that introduction. If for any reason, one of you says, No, I don't make that introduction. Or you say, not right now, then it's on me to make that introduction at a later point in time, because you never know what somebody else has going on in their life. They could be going on vacation, they could be preparing for a board meeting. They could have really anything going on in their life, and if they don't want to interact with that person right now or right then, then it affects your social capital, because you're the one that's brokering that relationship, and it could look bad on you if those two people don't connect, or, like you said, if they start selling to each other, that can also look very bad on you as well. So you want to be very clear on the intention, on why you want the two of them to be meeting.
Marisa Huston 31:46
Did I learn that lesson? And not only that, but the way I do it, because asking back and forth can be a little cumbersome, so I've kind of worked around that a little bit, and seems to be working very well. Is I find the people in my bus that are open connectors, meaning the ones that tell me, if you think they're good, if you like them, I don't need you to ask me, I want to be introduced. And they already tell you they give you permission upfront, as long as you like them, please introduce me. I would like to meet them. It makes it so easy, because I never have to ask. I just know they've already given me permission. And if like, now I'm talking to you, and I really like you, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm thinking, Rachel should meet Joe. Then Joe already told me, Hey, Marisa, if you think she's great, I want to meet her. Then I already know that after the conversation, I'm going to make the introduction. So it just makes it so easy. Isn't there a feature like that in LinkedIn where you can say your open connector, or something like that, that you're basically saying, I want to meet anyone that you feel I should meet. And there are people that are like that, and then there are people that are very guarded, and they're like, no, they have to meet certain criteria, or I don't want to talk to them. It's gonna be a waste of my time. And so for those people, you already know, and then you can be a little more selective, or at the very least cautious before you make that connection.
Rachel Rozen 33:01
Yeah, the one thing that I like to say, too is that you never know who somebody else knows. So if you're not sure if they're going to be a great connection for you, give them a chance. You just never know who they might know that they could then introduce you to, or what information they might be able to share, or can they invite you somewhere else. Going back to the three eyes of an introduction, information, invitation. We just never know what somebody else how they could help us, or how we might be able to help them. And what they look like on paper is not always who they are in real life, and we often, especially today, being on screens all the time, we look at their LinkedIn and say, Oh, this person's not for me before you even give them a chance. Now, if you're on the call with them, and you give them 510 minutes, and you're like, oh, this conversation isn't going anywhere. Totally understand that, but give people a shot. You just never know.
Marisa Huston 33:49
100% and you know, we're all human, and we make mistakes, and sometimes things don't go well, and you get off on the wrong foot, but then you realize, Wow, I totally misunderstood this person. They were actually one of the best people I've ever met. You know, so you go in with an open mind. And again, for me, if there are people that I trust, and I explicitly trust them and who they meet, I am an open connector. I always say, introduce me, because I want to meet this person. If you think they're great, then I know I'm going to be interested in getting to know them. And so I guess everybody has to make their own personal decision about how they want to build that network, but at the end of the day, it's being respectful. So if that other person says You said it, right, Rachel, if the other person specifically says to you they gotta meet certain criteria, or I want you to check in with me before you make the connection, then honor that, right? Yeah, absolutely. That's such a great point. Rachel, this is amazing stuff, and I think it's really important that people remember that this is something they have to apply. They have to consistently, kind of live by and eventually, wonderful things always happen in your life. How do people learn more about the services you offer, and how can they reach out to you?
Rachel Rozen 34:57
Yeah, absolutely. So the best way to find me is on LinkedIn or my website, which is connection catalyst.me that has information. And then I do a free networking webinar once a month that talks about different strategies and tactics on how you can make networking become something that is more sticky versus icky. And I work with people in group coaching and one on one coaching, and I also will come to companies and or communities to speak on it as well, to really help people put this into practice. Because, as we talked about today, it's not a one and done thing. It's how do we make this become a habit? And we need to practice the same way. If you're going to go run a marathon, you're not gonna walk out the door today and just run a marathon. You're gonna hire a coach or a trainer and you're gonna practice and get yourself up to run that marathon. The same thing without networking.
Marisa Huston 35:50
It's so important. And if I had to add one more thing to what you just said is we try to do too much too soon. How do I add one new person in my bus? How do I add a second person into my bus, until you build it? Because I think as they listen to us, they're probably going, Oh, now I gotta figure out who these 15 people are, and I gotta call them. It's like going back to if you were trying to clean your house, and you get overwhelmed, because you see the whole house is a mess, and you're like, oh, it's gonna take me weeks, hours, whatever, right? And you just end up getting so frustrated, you walk away. But what if you say, I'm gonna work on this drawer, just one drawer. That's all I want to get right. And then it builds momentum, and you get so excited, because it's like, oh my gosh, that one drawer looks so nice, and I want to do the second one and the third one. And that's how you have to approach it, baby steps, very incremental steps, to show some improvement, because then once you build that momentum, you're more likely to make it a habit in the future.
Rachel Rozen 36:47
Yeah, absolutely.
Marisa Huston 36:49
Rachel, I cannot thank you enough for sharing this with us today. I really appreciate you being here.
Rachel Rozen 36:54
My pleasure. Thanks so much for having me. It was great having this conversation with you, and I hope all the listeners are able to put some new things into practice and just take that baby step forward.
Marisa Huston 37:03
Thanks, Rachel.
Rachel Rozen 37:04
Thank you.
Outro 37:06
That's a wrap for this episode of live Blissed out. Thanks to Rachel Rozen for joining us and thanks for listening. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to speakpipe.com/LBOVM, or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show, please visit www.liveblissedout.com to reach out, subscribe and share on social media. This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward.