129 - The Growing Epidemic Of Road Rage

In this episode Rick Sykes educates us on how to be more respectful, responsible & reasonable while driving as well as how to reduce Aggressive Driving & Road Rage incidents & fatalities both NOW and in FUTURE.

Rick is a Detroit native.  He is happily married to Christine Sykes for 34 years, has 6 adult children (5 boys & I daughter) and 3 grandchildren.

He has 30+ years in the corporate/non-profit sector and holds a Bachelors of Business Administration and a Master of Arts in Pastoral Ministry.

 He is also author of the book Five Smooth Stones - a personal narrative about raising 5 boys.

 To learn more, visit https://www.dontengage.org

In this episode we cover:

2:29  Road Rage Defined

3:36  Aggressive Driving & Road Rage

5:01  Signs

6:57  An Epidemic

9:43  A Priviledge

11:51  Consideration & Etiquette

13:42  Honking

15:33  Confronting Other Drivers

Thanks so much for tuning in again this week. I appreciate you  🙂

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Special thanks to Rick Sykes for being on the show.

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Chapters

• 2:29 Road Rage Defined
• 3:36 Aggressive Driving & Road Rage
• 5:01 Signs
• 6:57 An Epidemic
• 9:43 A Priviledge
• 11:51 Consideration & Etiquette
• 13:42 Honking
• 15:33 Confronting Other Drivers

Transcript

Did You Know  0:03  
Did you know that millennials represent 51% of road rage incidents? 

Intro  0:09  
Hello, action taker. Welcome to Live Blissed Out. A podcast where I have inspirational and informational conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help you get the scoop on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture? Wanna be in the know? Then this is the place to go. I'm your host Marisa Huston. Helping you achieve bliss through awareness and action. So let's get to it. In this episode, Rick Sykes educates us on how to be more respectful, responsible and reasonable while driving, as well as how to reduce aggressive driving and road rage incidents and fatalities, both now and in the future. Rick is a Detroit native. He is happily married to Christine Sykes for 34 years, and has six adult children, five boys and one daughter and three grandchildren. He has 30 plus years in the corporate and nonprofit sector and holds a Bachelor of Business Administration and a Master of Arts in pastoral ministry. He is also author of the book Five Smooth Stones, a personal narrative about raising five boys. To learn more visit www.don'tengage.org. 

Disclaimer  1:20  
The information opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this podcast is done at your own risk. This podcast should not be considered professional advice. 

Marisa Huston  1:32  
Rick, thank you for being here.

Rick Sykes  1:34  
Thank you, Marisa, good to be talking with you on this wonderful afternoon.

Marisa Huston  1:39  
Yeah, this conversation was on my wish list for a really long time. And I've been waiting for the right opportunity to talk to somebody who's passionate about it, and who can help our listeners really understand. I think it would be a good idea if you could explain to our listeners what our conversation is going to be about and why it matters. 

Rick Sykes  1:58  
Well, thank you, Marisa. Our conversation is going to be about road rage, awareness, education, safety and resources. So the primary target of our conversation today has everything to do with road rage.

Marisa Huston  2:09  
And I think that not only is that an important conversation, because I hear about it happening more often than in the past, I think it's important for us to begin by defining exactly what we mean when we say road rage and if there are perhaps any different types of road rage out there that we should be able to identify.

Rick Sykes  2:29  
Yes, first of all, the term road rage was actually a coined phrase in LA I think right about the 80's. There was a phrase that was coined in Los Angeles. And what we mean when we say when we talk about road rage, or the term road rage we're simply talking about the intent, the motivation to harm someone while driving. Road rage has everything to do with intent, has everything to do with motivation, has everything to do with being out of control. But the one word I would like to use, if I were to settle road rage has everything to do with the intent of the driver, the perpetrator to harm in any way shape, or form, the person that they felt, cut them off for didn't turn on your blinkers and you want to do something about it. Intent has everything to do with road rage.

Marisa Huston  3:17  
A lot of us experience what we call rude drivers, people who cut us off or don't use their blinkers or things like that. And I would consider that more like aggressive driving. Just people that aren't being considerate on the roads. How do we differentiate between aggressive driving and road rage?

Rick Sykes  3:36  
Great question, Marisa. Appreciate the question. Aggressive driving and road rage is two different things. Aggressive driving according to a lot of studies, AAA, the National Highway Safety & Patrol, aggressive driving actually leads into what I call a prerequisite for somebody getting into a road rage mode. So aggressive driving will be anywhere like speeding, tailgating, running a red light. You are being inconsiderate for whatever reason. The aggressive driver is that person that tailgates, speeds, run red lights, even to the point where they're texting or distracted while driving. And so that leads into our topic today what we're dealing with in terms of road rage. And so aggressive driving has everything to do with I would say being irresponsible, irrational, not considerate, for whatever reason. We all have reasons why we do a particular thing, whether it's running late for work, and so I get it. We're all guilty of aggressive driving in some way, shape, or form.

Marisa Huston  4:32  
Now, Rick, I believe you mentioned to me that you experienced this in the past and so you would understand what that feels like because perhaps there are listeners who have not really encountered road rage. I think most of us have encountered aggressive driving, but there's a lot of people that have not experienced that level of anger or aggression on the road. What does that look like? What are some of the signs that let us know that we are in a really bad situation?

Rick Sykes  5:01  
Oh man! Several ways. Number one is somebody who is a driver that is aggressively, purposely tailgating you for whatever reason. The person may be following you, because of something you did three blocks or a mile ago. Somebody who's trying to actually run you off the road. That happened to me a couple of times when someone, for whatever reason, tried to run me off the road. And it happened to me when someone who was following me because this person did not want me to pass them. So when I respectfully passed him on the road, he started following me. That's how you know you're in a bad situation, when someone either cuts you off, or follows you or tries to run you off the road. Someone that gives you an evil eye or gesture. They want you to look at 'em, when you stopped at the light, they want you to say something to 'em. So these are all signs that you are in a bad, bad situation. It could escalate if you don't know the tools and the techniques to get out of the situation.

Marisa Huston  5:55  
And it's a very scary situation to be in, particularly because you don't really know how the other person is going to react in the sense that how far they're going to take it. And it's all driven, in my opinion by emotion.

Rick Sykes  6:10  
Exactly. 

Marisa Huston  6:11  
When we're out in a public space, which is what the road is to all of us, it's shared space. Yes, because we're sharing, we have to be extra attentive to the people around us because we have to remind ourselves that it's a privilege and it's something that we should be grateful that we have these resources to be able to go wherever we need to go. But at the same time, there are other people who need the same courtesy. And so when people are out there, we need to think of it from that perspective. But, given the fact that our lives are so busy, and everybody's in a hurry, I find that road rage and even aggressive driving has increased exponentially from the past. Aside from getting our mindset in the right place, when we're out on the road, what are some things that we can do to prevent ourselves from ending up in a situation like that? 

Rick Sykes  6:57  
First of all, road rage is a growing epidemic, one of the fastest growing epidemics across the country. And so you can google road rage and believe me, trust me, I had an opportunity to just kind of look at the recent incidents and situations that contributed to aggressive driving leading into road rage. As you stated, it's shared space, shared roads. One of the things that we have to do is understand that at the end of the day, our lives are busy, but being observant, paying attention, leaving on time not putting yourself in a situation where you're always rushing to work or rushing to get the kids to school, because studies have shown that there are different things that actually lead in to road rage, and aggressive driving. One is time preparation or preparing to drive. Just like to prepare a meal, you prepare things that we weren't able to do or prepare to go to bed, whatever. By the same token, we must take full responsibility in preparing ourselves to be on that row. Because there's a whole lot of space to be feared. There are a whole lot of people that we're dealing with, you don't never know who's behind the wheel. So time. Listening to music is one way where you can really just calm yourself down, giving people the benefit of the doubt. Just because you're in a rush, you understand that there are plenty of people in the same situation that you're in, that's rushing to get to school, rushing to get the work, rushing to get to whatever destination they want to get. And so at the end of the day, it is incumbent upon every driver to take personal full responsibility for their actions. There are various ways you can do that by leaving on time, listening to music, counting to 5, 10 or 20 to really calm yourself down. We know from studies, we know from the news, we know from listening and hearing different incidents that most of them could be preventable across the country.

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Marisa Huston  9:18  
Do you feel Rick that a lot of this is happening today because people are so focused on themselves and what they have to accomplish that they seem to forget about being courteous to other people and as a result, they are texting or doing activities that put them in a situation where they feel rushed, and then it elevates their emotions and leads to this type of behavior.

Rick Sykes  9:43  
Yes. You know what I know that driving or having a license is a privilege. It's a priviledge for all of us to have and I you know myself I started going to when I was like 15 in Detroit. We had what they call it driving classes that you can get credit for. So one of the things that he talked about was pedestrians, we talked about was stopping at a light, what they talked about was not speeding. And basically, it has everything to do with you being responsible in your actions. So yes, people feel entitled, they feel, you know, it's about me where I have to be and where I have to go. So a lot of it does have to do with self, it has to do with being selfish, instead of selfless. And so when we get on that road, we must understand, and I know, I've learned this in school, when I was driving, that we're not driving for ourselves, we're driving and being considerate of other drivers on the road. Driving is a privilege and we must all understand that we are not just driving for ourselves, that everyone that's on the road with us that's on the freeway with us, we must be considerate. That's the key word considerate of everybody that's on that road. Yes, we do live in a time where we want the likes, it's about me, it's about my four and no more. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Marisa Huston  10:55  
There is an intersection that I live nearby, that had a lot of problems, because there is a right turn that cars were having to make and the people that were making a left turn for whatever reason, I don't understand, they don't get the fact that the people making the right turn have right of way. And so what was happening all the time, and this was going on for years, was the cars that were trying to make a right we're almost getting into accidents with the cars turning left, because the people on the left were not giving them right of way. And so there was always this battle. And so recently, what happened was they put a special light that gives a flashing yellow to the people turning left to let them know that the people on the other side of the street that were making a right had the right of way and it completely changed the dynamic. I feel like there's a lack of knowledge in terms of basic etiquette on the road. Is that something that you're noticing as well?

Rick Sykes  11:51  
I will use it like this approach. Yes, there's a lack of consideration, a lack of respect. And respect goes a long way not just when you're walking, but also when you're driving. So yes, I will concur with that. And because some of the things that I see, I've read, like up in recently where a guy had got out the car, and it was a real recent situation and this person proceeded to beat a guy and stomp his head in . It has everything to do with humanity, with being considerate, with loving your neighbor. So yes, there is a situation going back to what you said in terms of entitlement, in terms of me, in terms of etiquette, how to do things. Etiquette, it's kind of everywhere. I mean, certain restaurant you go to you can't wear blue jeans or whatever. So, the restaurant you go to there's a proper etiquette. You got to either wear a suit jacket, a sports coat, or whatever. So just like you're on the road, lives, your life and other people's lives are at stake. When we're not considerate, when we don't do things the right way, when we don't follow instructions, when we run red lights and stop signs, when we don't wait at least one, two, three seconds before the light after the light turn green to go across because there's somebody gonna try to beat the light. So yeah, there's a lot of factors that go into etiquette and what to do and what not to do and how to do it, etc.

Marisa Huston  13:05  
Yeah, I also noticed things like jaywalking. Jaywalking has increased exponentially. If they want to cross wherever they are, they just think they can just cross a major road. And it's really scary, because honestly, some people can't see them. And if they get hit, it's the jaywalker, that's going to hurt the most right? Not the person driving in the car. At the same time, the driver will feel terrible about accidentally hitting somebody. And it's the same with signals. Just turning on your signal to let people know that you're going to be going in a certain direction. People don't do that. The other thing I'm noticing a lot now I don't know if that's the case for you is honking the horn. I noticed that people are doing it way more often now.

Rick Sykes  13:42  
Marisa, you are actually on point. Matter of fact, on our website, I have seven things that you should not do while in traffic and that contribute to road rage. Honking is one of them. That right there, trust me, is probably top three. It happens in Michigan and Detroit and people have been injured, people have been assaulted, because of somebody's honking their horn, especially in anger. And we have to be very careful as to how we honk the horn. Sometimes somebody is in front of you, and maybe they're on a cell phone. Maybe they're mind is somewhere else. You could tap the horn a little bit as opposed to giving it full throttle. That's etiquette. Because we could tap a horn to give people some attention. Maybe somebody's mind is somewhere else.

Marisa Huston  14:26  
I find that if you just keep your distance, keep your cool, and just give people space, be courteous, you can avoid a lot of these things. The consequences are huge. If you end up in a situation like this, where you are confronted with road rage or even just the basic accident. I think it's important to remind our listeners the consequences mean it could be loss of work, it could be loss of life, it could be totaling your car. Then you've got to work with medical bills. You got to deal with insurance. There's going to be a lot of financial and emotional costs associated with one mistake. And so if there's anything we can do today to help people avoid that, so that they don't end up in that situation, then we've won.  That's really what I know you're trying to do with your organization. And that's why I was just so excited to have you here. I think that what you're doing is so wonderful. It's going to help save lives. And if we can do that, then we're doing something good for humanity. Like you said, all the decisions that we make have consequences, and he could hurt somebody else.

Rick Sykes  15:33  
You're right. So one of the things that I'm seeing, that I'm reading every week, almost every day, I actually read on the latest incidents. That's one of my regimens, I want to stay on top of what's going on, the trends and things of that nature. So one of the things that I'm seeing, that I'm reading about, are people getting out their vehicles to confront another driver. That is by far one of the most foolish things to do. In fact, we had a retired Fire Department Lieutenant here in Rochester Hills, which is a suburb in Michigan. He and the guy had been going back and forth on the road, maybe a block or two blocks, and they both pulled up in the gas station, and the one guy shot the lieutenant. You're finding that more and more were people are actually leaving their vehicles to confront drivers. There was a man recently, Google it, this man literally gets out of his car to confront a driver, who he felt cut him off, he got it at a stoplight. This guy walks up to the car, the driver, of course, naturally, he's scared, the guy that gets out his car reaches in to the vehicle, and gets shot by the guy, gets killed, right in front of his child. 

Marisa Huston  16:36  
Wow. 

Rick Sykes  16:37  
So you're finding more and more people now are leaving their vehicles to confront a situation. That is by far, one of the most dangerous things, you can do it because you don't know how it's going to end up. And then also, you have people that follow people home. While I was reading an article not too long ago, where the victim didn't realize that this person was following them because something had happened a mile or two miles ago. They forgot about it. And they was actually in the driveway. And this guy followed them home, and proceeded to assault them and cuss them out, whatever. These are some serious and dangerous times and we doesn't know who you're gonna be dealing with on the road. You never know what this person is going through. And with mental illness at a high level right now, with a proliferation of people carrying guns right now, that's something that you don't want to face.

Marisa Huston  17:31  
Absolutely. So I think the message here is do not provoke anyone, don't make direct eye contact or do things that are just going to get them even more emotional, because that could then lead to something really bad. And so I know that on your website, you have more detailed information about things like how to recognize this type of behavior and how to handle it if you're in that situation. You mentioned, for example, people following you home. There's protocol for what to do when that happens, so that you can protect yourself. That information is on your website as well. Please share with our listeners, what your website is, how they can get ahold of you and learn more about what you offer.

Rick Sykes  18:11  
Yes, listeners, you can find Don't Engage In Road Rage. In fact, we're celebrating five years. We're actually into our fifth year. IOur website is very easy, www.dontengage.org. On our website, we have a plethora of information, events, just a lot of things that we're doing in the community, things that we're doing across the country. But more importantly, some educational things, tools and techniques that you can pull from and because a lot of this information are pulled from AAA, are pulled from different people, from major corporations and major platforms. So we just kind of piggyback off of them to focus on road rage.

Marisa Huston  18:45  
Rick, it really matters. I think that oftentimes we just have to be reminded of how our lives can change in an instant, in not the way we'd like if we make bad choices. And so just be aware, and not let our emotions get in the way and talk about it, is a place to start. I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time out to share this with us and help us make sure that we don't end up in a situation like that. 

Rick Sykes  19:12  
Well, Marisa, I want to thank you. When I started this organization five years ago, I had no idea that I'd be talking to people like you. Just to you know, have an opportunity to engage and have conversations with people such as yourself, only help us and motivate us to continue our efforts with promoting road rage awareness across the country. So thank you very much for just taking time out of your busy schedule to talk about what we do.

Outro  19:35  
That's a wrap for this episode of Live Blissed Out. Thanks to Rick Sykes for joining us and thanks for listening. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to www.speakpipe.com/lbovm or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show please visit www.liveblissed out.com to reach out, subscribe and share on social media This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!