Joining me is Terri Anderson Wilber.
Terri is a certified trainer and master practitioner of neurolinguistic programing (NLP) as well as a master practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®. In other words, she specializes in the way you THINK. Terri bridges the gap in the way your conscious mind and unconscious mind communicate with one another. Her niche is in helping small business entrepreneurs and sales people leverage their skills in Influence to be at the highest level of service to their clients, thereby increasing their own livelihoods. Terri’s most recent accomplishment is transforming her in-person trainings into an exciting and dynamic online training platform, Ascent Training Online.
To learn more, visit www.ascenttrainingco.com
Offer:
Free 75-minute online training ($247 value)
The ABCs of Influence: How to Communicate Clearly with Confidence
Online this week at www.ascenttrainingco.com/abc
Free Facebook community at Ascent Training Online
In this episode we will cover:
Thanks so much for tuning in again this week. I appreciate you 🙂
Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the Feedback section.
Special thanks to Terri Anderson Wilber for being on the show.
Searching for a minimal, versatile, handheld tripod? Look no further! SwitchPod works with any camera, from a phone to a DSLR, and simplifies video making. SwitchPod is lightweight, compact, and nearly indestructible. It will save you time between shots so you can focus more on shooting and less on messing with your gear. Click on this Switchpod link to let them know I sent you and help support the show.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
If you have a question or comment for a future episode, visit https://www.speakpipe.com/lbovm.
So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!
Also, don’t forget to Subscribe for FREE: Apple Podcasts | Android
Joining me is Terri Anderson Wilber.
Terri is a certified trainer and master practitioner of neurolinguistic programing (NLP) as well as a master practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®. In other words, she specializes in the way you THINK. Terri bridges the gap in the way your conscious mind and unconscious mind communicate with one another. Her niche is in helping small business entrepreneurs and sales people leverage their skills in Influence to be at the highest level of service to their clients, thereby increasing their own livelihoods. Terri’s most recent accomplishment is transforming her in-person trainings into an exciting and dynamic online training platform, Ascent Training Online.
To learn more, visit www.ascenttrainingco.com
Offer:
Free 75-minute online training ($247 value)
The ABCs of Influence: How to Communicate Clearly with Confidence
Online this week at www.ascenttrainingco.com/abc
Free Facebook community at Ascent Training Online
In this episode we will cover:
Thanks so much for tuning in again this week. I appreciate you 🙂
Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the Feedback section.
Special thanks to Terri Anderson Wilber for being on the show.
Searching for a minimal, versatile, handheld tripod? Look no further! SwitchPod works with any camera, from a phone to a DSLR, and simplifies video making. SwitchPod is lightweight, compact, and nearly indestructible. It will save you time between shots so you can focus more on shooting and less on messing with your gear. Click on this Switchpod link to let them know I sent you and help support the show.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
If you have a question or comment for a future episode, visit https://www.speakpipe.com/lbovm.
So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!
Also, don’t forget to Subscribe for FREE: Apple Podcasts | Android
Welcome to Episode 48 on the Live Blissed Out podcast. Imposter syndrome is defined as a false and potentially harmful belief that a person's success is attributed to fraud or luck rather than skill. Did you know that Albert Einstein may have had imposter syndrome? It is estimated that approximately 70% of the US population has experienced it. Hello action takers! Welcome to Live Blissed Out. A podcast where I have authentic conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help us get the scoop, the 411 and the lowdown on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture? Wanna be in the know? Then this is the place to go. I'm your host Marisa Huston. Helping achieve bliss through awareness and action. Thanks for joining me. The information opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this podcast is done at your own risk. This podcast should not be considered professional advice. Joining me is Terri Anderson Wilbur. Terri is a certified trainer and master practitioner of neuro linguistic programming, as well as a master practitioner of mental and emotional release. In other words, she specializes in the way you think. Terri bridges the gap in the way your conscious mind and unconscious mind communicate with one another. Her niche is in helping small business entrepreneurs and salespeople leverage their skills in influence to be at the highest level of service to their clients, thereby increasing their own livelihoods. Terri's most recent accomplishment is transforming her in person trainings into an exciting and dynamic online training platform as sent training online. To learn more visit www.ascenttrainingco.com. Searching for a minimal versatile handheld tripod? Look no further. Switchpod works with any camera from a phone to a DSLR and simplifies video making. Switchpod is lightweight, compact and nearly indestructible. It will save you time between shots so you can focus more on shooting and less on messing with your gear. Just head over to the partners tab at www.liveblissedout.com and click on the Switchpod link to let them know I sent you and help support the show. Terri, it's so good to have you here today!
Terri Anderson Wilber :Thanks Marisa! I got a question for you.
Marisa Huston :All right, go for it.
Terri Anderson Wilber :When's the last time that you looked in the mirror and you literally looked into your own eyes and said, you're doing a great job at life?
Marisa Huston :Wow. If I have I can't remember. I'm usually pretty critical of myself.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Most of us are. The truth is if people actually have ever done that it might have been once or twice and it was years ago. It's not a regular practice that most people are in the habit of doing most of the time. We are our own worst critics, instead of the acknowledging where we're at and where we're doing fantastic.
Marisa Huston :Can I relate to that? And I think that's one of the reasons why I was so excited to talk to you about this topic, which is head trash, because we all have them. And I think that many times we see things in ourselves that people do not see. And we expect things of ourselves that other people perhaps don't expect. Or they may even think we're great at something. And apparently, we think we're the worst at it. It's the complete opposite.
Terri Anderson Wilber :It really, truly is. And it's interesting because we're really good at putting up a good exterior so that nobody really sees what's going on below the surface. Like if you think of a duck paddling across the pond, it looks so calm going across the pond. But meanwhile, if you look below the surface, those little paddles are going a mile a minute and that's how most of us are as well and not in a healthy way, usually.
Marisa Huston :We don't want to put out the worst version of ourselves to other people, or we don't want to bring other people down or tell them our problems because they might perceive us as whiny. Or perhaps they'll say, figure things out and stop complaining and things like that. We want to put our best foot forward to other people, but then as a result of doing that, we don't really show our true selves.
Terri Anderson Wilber :It's really crazy. Because there have been a ton of studies done that show that our formulative years, most of our belief system is installed by the time we're eight or nine years old. And that's the root of where those insecurities come from, that make us doubt ourselves or judge ourselves or be in that conversation of I'm not enough who's going to listen to me, I've never done it before so I'm not smart enough to do it. All of those things that we make up. There's actually a label for it. It's called imposter syndrome. And usually the people who have imposter syndrome, or some version of it that have those kind of limiting beliefs about themselves, like I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. I'm not courageous enough. Usually, those are the people who are high achievers. It's absolutely fascinating. The low achievers who aren't doing anything in their lives, they don't ever have those conversations with themselve because they're not getting anything done anyway.
Marisa Huston :I never even thought of that! Why do you think that is Terri?
Terri Anderson Wilber :You know, because I think that their focus is completely different than the focus of the people who are the high achievers and getting stuff done. If we take a look at it, and we go back to those formulative years, what's really intriguing to me is that is when we base our decisions on who we're going to be as an adult, based on the experience that we either have, or here's the mind bender, experiences that we think we had. So we take everything into our minds through our five senses. There's no other way to get information into our brains other than our five senses. So sight, touch, scent, smell, and then of course, what you hear and most of it comes in through what we hear and what we experience. And so you can as a child, hear a conversation between, let's say your parents, and maybe your parents are having a disagreement about something. You don't even understand as a four year old or a five year old, the context of what they're talking about, but you will make up a story about what you think they're talking about. So when I was in the third grade, I remember my parents having a discussion about my third grade teacher, and my dad, ironically, had actually gone to high school with my third grade teacher, so he knew her. And they were having a conversation about the report card that I brought home. And I had had, I think it was a C in math, and they were having a conversation about the C in math, and he was talking about his interaction with her from years before when they'd been in high school together. But my third grade mind heard the conversation, and I interpreted it with the only facts that I knew in the moment. And what I knew was I had gotten a C in math. And as a result of me over sharing that conversation, I made up the story that I wasn't good at math, and I carried that for decades forwards. So that's kind of where the root of some of the head trash that we develop comes from. It's what we actually experience or what we think we experienced as a child.
Marisa Huston :Wow. And you know, I think that we compare ourselves. So you think about even your friends or even your siblings. Maybe they got valedictorian in high school, or they were the head of the newspaper, in school, or whatever, and you didn't achieve any of those things, but you had other talents that you enjoy doing. But you were never one of those kids that won awards or got A's in school or anything like that. And so you always felt like you were never good enough. You compared yourself and you're like, but I'm not like them. I'm just not good enough. So how can anybody respect me or want to be a part of my circle or even listen to me for that matter? And you carry that until adulthood and maybe for the rest of your life. And so what gets a person to break through that? How do you get past that so it doesn't stop you from achieving the goals that you set for yourself?
Terri Anderson Wilber :That is a great question, and I have an analogy for you. The first thing is absolutely awareness. Awareness that those are the thoughts that are occupying your time. Because you're unable to change it until you're even aware that that's the conversation happening inside your head. Take a look at this. If we just spelled it out in really, really blatant terms. Let's pretend we all went on a field trip together, you me and like three or four other friends. We'll take our mutual friend Donna. And let's say a bunch of us all piled into a bus and we drove out to the county dump. And then let's say each one of us grabbed a trash bag, and our job was to find the most disgusting, gross, terrible, terrible, juicy, gooey trash we could find to put in this trash bag.
Marisa Huston :Sounds like something I really want to do!
Terri Anderson Wilber :Right? But truly, like I'm not kidding, Marisa. I mean, like the worst of the worst, like dirty diapers, the whole nine yards, rotting food, and we put it in this garbage bag, and then we all get back on the bus and we head to your house. Let's say we go into your front room and we poke some holes in that bag, and then I start flinging it around, and there's goo spattering everywhere. I mean, like on your walls and on your carpet and on the ceiling and all this gross, disgusting garbage is getting everywhere.
Marisa Huston :That would not be good.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Would you ever invite me back to your home?
Marisa Huston :Yeah, definitely not. I would say let's go grab a cup of coffee somewhere.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Well, you might not even after that. You might not even want to be friends with me. After that. You might be like, hey, you're on the banned list. You're crazy. You're on the banned list, right? But here's the rub. We do that to ourselves with our negative self talk all the time. When someone pays me a compliment, I use to shove it away. Oh, you like this top? Let me tell you I bought it at the thrift store. It was like $3 or whatever. It took me decades of practice to finally just look at someone and go, Thank you.
Marisa Huston :The same thing happened to me, Terri. I could not take a compliment. And it took me a really long time to finally say, that is so nice of you to say and notice. Thank you. And just saying that it acknowledged the other person because when you're not acknowledging their compliment, it almost means like what they have to say doesn't matter. It's not true. And they're just telling you that they happen to like something, even if you may not think it's the greatest thing they want you to know, they appreciate it.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Isn't that funny, we're not only invalidating ourselves, we're taking them along for the ride and we are going to invalidate them along the way.
Marisa Huston :Yes!
Terri Anderson Wilber :And that's kind of the transition of starting to I call it taking out the head trash you're like can you take out the trash. That's really the inception, if you will, of starting to take that awareness that you have of those limiting thoughts, those limiting beliefs and starting to take action on the things that you want to do in your life. That's the real impetus or the catalyst for change, to actually start a different relationship with yourself and discharge a different acknowledgment of yourself in your mind. And so that question I asked you at the beginning, like when's the last time you looked into the mirror and looked into your own eyes and said, hey, you're doing a great job at life. You're doing great, right?
Marisa Huston :I think all of us are critical in some way, shape, or form. We always either look at the past and we'll say I wish I'd taken a different turn. And that's one of the reasons why I end every podcast with remember to keep moving forward. Because I believe that we learn from the past but we can't dwell on the past. We need to move ahead and think about what's tomorrow bringing for me and be hopeful. Because otherwise then you say, well, I wish I'd taken that turn. Well, what good is that going to do? You can't take that turn anymore. It's done with. You took a different path already. So now how do you make the most of where you are today? And speaking of that, this head trash you're talking about was exactly what stopped me from doing podcasting. I've always wanted to do it, but I told myself the exact same thing you know, I'm not good enough, nobody's gonna want to listen to what I'm sharing with them, my guests are not gonna want to be on the show. You know, you talk yourself out of it. But I think what turned me was I asked myself the question, what will happen if I don't? And the answer scared me more.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Absolutely.
Marisa Huston :If you're really clear on your goal, then your goal is so important that all that head trash can't stop you from moving head.
Terri Anderson Wilber :I kinda look at it this way. If I were to ask you, do you enjoy getting gifts more? Or do you enjoy giving gifts more giving?
Marisa Huston :Giving.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Okay, so would you agree that all of us have unique talents, gifts that we were given when we came into this world? And it's interesting that that seems to be the word that we use to define what our talents are, oh, well, those are my gifts. We see that from the framework of they were gifts that were given to me. No, no, no, they are gifts that I have that I'm meant to give to the world. So it's a different mindset. When I start to think of my gifts and my talents, they were given to me so that I could give them away and if I'm wrapped up in my head trash, of I'm not enough, who's gonna listen to me? I'm not smart enough and all of that nonsense, then I am denying my purpose for being here on this planet. And like you said, that's scarier than the process of going through the obstacles to get it done. It's a different dynamic.
Marisa Huston :It totally is. And I think the way you put it was even better. It's exactly it. It was I wanted to share you and the rest of my guests with other people. And by not starting the podcast, I wouldn't have that platform to do it. That was just not even an acceptable answer. And so that is what catapulted me to say, I'm doing it.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Yeah. And you know, you're not gonna be in that, oh, rah, rah, I can do anything mindset all the time. There are times the obstacle is going to win and you're going to have a momentary dip in energy, and you're going to be like, oh, maybe it's true, maybe I'm not smart enough. What I encourage people to do and this is really the method I used to get out of my own way with my own head trash is I found a little tiny journal, it's probably four inches by four inches, and it's got this beautiful red cover with this gold foil in print, so it looks really high end and it feels very luxurious when you pick up this little tiny journal, and I turned it into what I call my why book. And it doesn't matter if it's business related, or it's in my personal life. Anytime I do something that's really cool. I write it in the book. So like the fact that my husband and I took our honeymoon in England, Ireland and In Scotland a million years ago, we've been together forever. We went to Stonehenge. And it was one of the most profound experiences I've had. It goes in the book, I've had the chance to go to Ecuador on a missions trip and swim with sea lions. So it goes in the book. In business, I had a book published with a bunch of other authors. We did the book together, and it made the Amazon bestsellers list, so it goes in the book. Anytime I did something that was really cool or unique. My youngest goddaughter decided when she could talk that instead of calling me Aunt Terri, she was going to call me Nana, Terri, and it just warmed my heart because I don't have kids in my own. So anything cool like that goes in the book. And the book doesn't have any kind of chronological thing to it. Like it's not an order. It's just as something cool happens, I'll pick up the book and I'll write it down. And maybe I forget about the book for a couple of months. And when I pick it up, I got to write four or five different things in it because I forgotten about the book. But let me tell you when I remember the book. I remember the book when I am all up in my nonsense of oh my gosh, this is bigger than me, I can't do this. Okay. Must be time for the book. And my husband's gotten on board. I've had this thing last week that technology was not my friend last week, and I was like, oh my gosh, this technology, oh my gosh! My husband leans back in his chair. He goes, is it time to read a chapter in the book? I was like, Yes, yes, it is. I'm going to get the book. You know? The book is a reminder that I am not my obstacle. I am not my head trash. I am so much bigger than that. And so I know it seems really simple, but it absolutely works.
Marisa Huston :We have to be reminded our why can shift and the thing that I find happens with many people that try to get beyond this head trash that they have is that there why sometimes is unrealistic. They see that they put so much effort into something and they're not getting whatever that reality is that they set for themselves. Then they get discouraged immediately and give up, which is why there are so many people that try new things, and before they even gain traction, they quit. The reality is that the idea that they set for themselves in the beginning may not have been realistic and maybe their Why is completely different and they need to sit down and ask themselves the question. If the question is that it fulfills me, or that I'm able to give back to the people around me, that I'm able to provide value, regardless of the fact that I don't have a million followers on YouTube or whatever, then that's okay. But you need to reassess it. And oftentimes, we have to look at that because if we lose traction there, we get discouraged and then we go back to that feeling sorry for yourself telling yourself, see, I told you, so I really am not good. I shouldn't have done this to begin with.
Terri Anderson Wilber :And you know, what's crazy is even when we get to the finish line, and we accomplish the goal. First of all, it never looks like we thought it was going to look. And so if you can tell yourself that right from the get go, you have to have an idea of where you're going. You have to know where point B is going to be. And you have to have a general idea of what the roadmap is to get there so that you know, at least the first few steps are going to take. I tell my clients all the time. Don't you dare get attached to that road map. Because like if I'm driving from New York and my goal is LA, and I know I'm going to take this highway and that highway and that highway, and those are the three main highways I'm going to take to get across the country. That's great that I have a plan. However, I could not have possibly foreseen that I needed to get off in Iowa and see the world's largest ball of string. So having a plan is great. It's just don't be attached to the plan. As long as you're going to get to the end result. Make it fun. Let it kind of come to you along the way.
Marisa Huston :Yeah, enjoy it. And I think that we also tend to compare ourselves right, Terri? Without a doubt, we look at other people, we see that they've achieved success, but we don't know exactly what they've done to get there. So for example, if you were, let's say to look at one of your favorite YouTubers that you watch all the time or whatever, and you see that they have, I don't know 50k followers, okay? You're looking at 50k and you're going Wow! I should start a YouTube channel because if they can do it, I can do it. Then you go in it for about a month and then you see that you maybe have I don't know, 200 followers, and then you're going well, nobody likes me. I only have 200 followers. But what you didn't realize is that the person you've been watching that has 50k followers has been doing it for five years, every week, three times a week, putting content working behind the scenes doing all these things. And you were doing a fraction of that, and you only did it for a month and you expect to achieve the same result.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Isn't that funny?
Marisa Huston :The reality is there's so much hard work that goes into everything. Even the most popular people that we know that we think, Wow, how lucky are they everybody loves them. They weren't loved from the get go. They've had to struggle to get to where they need to go. And it was that persistence and that belief. And they had limiting beliefs too I'm sur. They also talked themselves out of believing that they can do it, but then they kept at it. And that's what led them to where they are today.
Terri Anderson Wilber :I always say it takes 10 years to become an overnight success. Everybody's like, Oh my gosh, look, they're so fantastic. It's an overnight success. Yeah, exactly. 10 years in the making. An overnight success.
Marisa Huston :I do believe it really is, for the most part a marathon, never a sprint. It's very rare that you can just jump into something and be good at it. And that includes your favorite golfer, your favorite tennis player, your favorite NFL player, whatever, you think that they just woke up one day and just started. They've been doing it since they could walk.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Absolutely.
Marisa Huston :They usually spend eight hours a day every day learning things, trying new things. They really live and breathe it. And that's really what it takes. And there's very few people out there. There's always exceptions to the rule, that had better success quickly and unexpectedly. But that's not common.
Terri Anderson Wilber :No, it's not. And if you stop to think about it, again, the research shows us It takes 10,000 hours of practice at something to achieve a level of mastery at it. So my conversation in my head is like you just suggested, if I've only been doing it for a couple of months, then I certainly don't have 10,000 hours into it and how can I expect to be at mastery level? Like that's unrealistic. So you have to be willing to tell yourself the truth. And when I say that, I don't mean that in a negative way. Most of the time we're telling ourselves lies, and you got to actually tell yourself the truth about how good you're doing. Like, Oh my gosh, 10,000 hours is mastery and I only have 50 hours into this and look at how far I've come all ready, to start to change the conversation and to really take control of those thoughts in your mind. And great example. I've got a good friend of mine who I just adore. You'll be out doing something with him and out loud, totally random he'll be like get in the bleachers. And you're looking around like what we're in the mall. What do you need get in the bleachers? But that's his way of talking to his self talk. In his mind, he pictures a football field and he takes them off the playing field because like the playing field is like when you're going for your goals and you're getting stuff done. That's the playing field. Then the thoughts that aren't bad, but they're not necessarily productive get to go to the bench, and then the ones that are terrible get to go to the bleachers. That's part of being funny with yourself like laughing at yourself, not taking yourself so seriously. Like that's an example of him not taking his negative self talk so seriously. I have another gentleman friend who will literally make a fist and put his finger up as if like the number one, and then he'll bring his finger to his lips, and he'll just out loud go, shhhh. Like he's shushing someone. And I was like, What are you doing? He's like, there's voices in my head, they're not nice right now. So he shushes his voices. So finding some little mechanism that's fun and funny, where it encourages you to not take yourself so seriously. It's also a great action step to start to take control back of those limiting thoughts that we all have.
Marisa Huston :There's things that we want to do, perhaps that are not realistic for us. Or maybe we think we want to do them and then you try them and you realize it's not a good fit. You got to ask yourself the question, how much effort do you want to put into this? Because if it's something that requires a lot of work, and you're not the type of person to commit yourself, or perhaps you just can't, you don't have the ability because you have other priorities, then you get gotta be real with yourself because that is going to cause you to fail. And then that's going to lead to the negative self talk again, it's like going full circle telling yourself, See, I knew I was not good. It had nothing to do with you not being good. It's just you don't want to or nor do you have the ability at this moment in time to commit to the level that is needed to achieve that goal that you set for yourself. So there's a disconnect between what your expectations are and the reality of what you're able to put in, don't you think?
Terri Anderson Wilber :Yeah, absolutely. And it's an interesting conversation to start to have. When I'm working with clients, and they're setting a goal for themselves and what we're going to work on in their coaching. Like, okay, I've got this big goal, I want to hit 200,000 this year in my business in real estate, and that's their goal. And I'll say, Okay, well, what's the most you've ever made before? And if the answer is 140, well, that's a pretty significant jump 60,000 a year if the most you've ever done to 140 and you want 200. I'm not saying it's not realistic at all. I'm just saying it is a big jump. So then my next question will be Okay, how do you think we're going to get there? And then one of the most critical things that you can do...Everybody's heard of smart goals, right? When you set your goals set it Specific, Measurable Attainable, is it Risky? and what's the timetable for the goal? But what I add on for clients is, when will you be complete with this experience? And people always look at me like what? And we set that right in the beginning before you actually get to the end? Because if you know, when you're complete with the experience, if you said I want 200 and you got to 185, is that still a gigantic win? Absolutely. But if you said 200, and you didn't hit 200 if you didn't say you could be complete with the experience at 185, what do you think happens when you don't get to 200? You beat yourself and you avoid celebrating the win of 185. So we always say it doesn't mean I'm going to coach you from 185. We are absolutely going to coach to 200 without a doubt, but I need to know what's your like, Okay, this would still be a win and I can be complete with it and let it go. Because sometimes our 80% is other people's 100%, Right?
Marisa Huston :Yes.
Terri Anderson Wilber :And what happens in that last 20% is you can fidget with it to death. You know, I call it the bad hair day. You could bad hair day it to death. You didn't quite get there, so you struggle and you struggle and that last 20% is nothing but struggle, time, energy, money, tears, frustration. You could have saved yourself all of that, if you just knew in the beginning, when could I be complete with this experience?
Marisa Huston :And that goes back to the awareness thing, really understanding where you want to go and how you plan to get there, because without that clarity, then you will definitely get back to that space where you have that voice in your head that says I'm not good enough, I can't seem to achieve anything. And that negativity is just not going to serve you in any positive way.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Absolutely not. In fact, it is so detrimental because you don't get to unplug your mind to take it with you wherever you go.
Marisa Huston :Yeah. And we're always thinking that we're the worst or nobody's ever experienced what we experienced, or we're critical of everything. And it could be any part of ourselves physically, mentally, whatever. And that is just not productive. It helps to an extent because it allows you to look at yourself and say, What are my talents? What do I like doing or what not. So it helps you analyze things. But when it's to the point where you're always telling yourself, you just can't I'm not good enough, that's really where you start to have to question whether or not that's reality, and then decide for yourself if you want to get out of it. Because let's say you never want to jump off a plane. If you really don't want to jump off a plane, then maybe saying I'm not good enough is a good idea. It's just not something you desire to achieve. So there's a lot of things you have to weigh for that and you just want to make sure that it doesn't hinder you. That's really the goal here is to be able to feel confident and not fear moving ahead.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Most people who are stuck in their head trash. That's the number one cause Have them not being happy is because they get stuck and they don't move. Then procrastination becomes the answer to everything. Oh, I'll get to that soon. Or my other favorite is those people who delude themselves into thinking they're getting stuff done toward their goal, and all they're doing is busy work. And you say to them, like, Hey, what you get done? Woo Busy? Wait, yeah, but what are you doing toward your goals? Woo busy! But nothing that they're actually doing is progressing them toward their goal. They're just in the minutiae of the busy work and not actually making headway because they get to delude themselves into thinking, well, I'm doing something.
Marisa Huston :It's like the hamster wheel. You're moving.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Yeah!
Marisa Huston :But where are you going?
Terri Anderson Wilber :Right. But the hamster is not going to get to the other cage if he's on the wheel.
Marisa Huston :Yes. Terry, who is the ideal person that you'd like to serve? let's say somebody is considering reaching out to you. How do they know that they might be a good fit for you and that you'd be able to help them with this particular situation?
Terri Anderson Wilber :I tend to work mainly with three groups. individuals. Small business owners who are entrepreneurial and have a small business and they're looking to grow their business. They want leverage and tools to move forward. I work a lot with salespeople, whether they are in business for themselves, or whether they work for someone else's as like a salesperson for a company. And then they work a lot with people who either are currently trainers or workshop leaders, facilitators, or they want to move into that because my platform is it doesn't matter who you are, what you look like what your educational background is. If you have a calling to teach or train something, then by all means, let's get you doing that because that's what you're here to do.
Marisa Huston :Is there a particular pain point that's pretty common between them?
Terri Anderson Wilber :Yes, it's the limiting belief of I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough or Who's going to listen to me?
Marisa Huston :How do they learn more about you?
Terri Anderson Wilber :The easiest way is to go to my website. It's www.ascenttrainingco.com. And I named my company ascent because ascent literally means to move upward. Just last week, I put together a 75 minute training that I'm offering right now for the next couple of weeks for free. It's jam packed full of nuggets. And it's called the ABCs of Influence: How to communicate clearly with confidence. Right now, if any of your listeners want to actually access that they can go to that website that I just gave you www.ascenttrainingco.com and then do forward slash ABC, or they can just go to www.ascenttrainingco.com, and they'll see ABC up in the menu and they just click ABC, and there's a link right there to take you to register for the webinar.
Marisa Huston :Oh, that's great. I will add all this information in the show notes so they can link to it right away, click on it and access that link. So thank you so much, Terri. That's fantastic. I think they're gonna enjoy that. So generous of you.
Terri Anderson Wilber :It's something I really wanted to do to put out there just sort of people got a sense for one the information, because it's such good information that anyone can use in any type of communication, even if somebody didn't fall into those three categories I just mentioned, but let's say they wanted better communication with their spouse or their partner. There's a ton of great information in that ABC webinar to just understand how to communicate more effectively with your family members. I mean, maybe your holidays are a train wreck, and maybe you'd like to be able to communicate better with your family at the holidays or whatever. There's something for everybody in there for sure. But this is like a $250 training that I'm doing for free right now. And it's because I wanted to really do something to help people jumpstart coming out of COVID, and coming out of what we've been in, in the last several months. I think people are really poised for, I've been isolated for so long, how do I get back to communicating with other people and do it effectively?
Marisa Huston :Communication is a part of what we do on a daily basis. It's such an important component because you have to try and understand the other person and clearly share what your thoughts and feelings are in a way that is helpful for both parties. And so I think this is going to be wonderful. I'm definitely going to be checking it out, so thank you for sharing that, Terri, and thank you for being here.
Terri Anderson Wilber :Oh, well, you're so welcome Marisa. And thank you for honoring your gifts and sharing your gifts with us as doing these podcasts.
Marisa Huston :That's all for this episode of Live Blissed Out. Thanks for listening and thanks to Terri Anderson Wilbur for being my guest. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to www.speakpipe.com/lbovm or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show, please visit www.liveblissedout.comm, to reach out, subscribe and share on social media. This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward.